I’m a crystal meth, fentanyl, and IV drug user. When I was younger, I was subject to every type of abuse there is, and we’ll just leave it at that.
Before I came here, I was living on the streets of Oshawa, staying in a bank kiosk. I went to a place called the Back Door Mission for meals.
I have a friend who used to be a drug user on the streets. He went to the DARE Program a couple of years ago and now he’s in recovery and works at the Back Door Mission. He was my first example of someone who was like me – and then he wasn’t like me anymore!
He inspired me to go to the DARE Program. First, they got me into a sanctuary in a church and I slept there for a week while they got me a bed in DARE. They don’t have pre-treatment in Oshawa, so people like me slip through the cracks. We just can’t hold out.
I was scared when I got to DARE. It was something new, something I wasn’t used to. What changed that? It was the love that I felt from the people working here. There are so many staff members here that I consider family.
Mike in DARE kept me on track. I had started working out and looking and feeling better, and I thought to myself “I’m okay!” He called me on it. He told me “I got you figured out. If you keep blowing off coming to the group meetings, if you keep having the delusion you have power back, then you will relapse and die.”
I asked him, “How can I turn this around?” And he gave me one of the hardest chores in the building, to see if I was willing to do it. And I said to him, “If I do this and I make it to one year, will you speak at the meeting when I get my one-year medallion?” And he did!
Every time I got pulled in for a “how are things going” meeting, I was scared I’d be thrown out. But they just continued to support me. At first, I didn’t like the chores, but then I found it helped me to get out of myself. When I’m doing something for someone else, it gets me out of my head, out of myself.
I’m more than a year in recovery now. I completed the 12 steps, went to treatment, put on 70 pounds. I’m 45 and I’m in better shape than I was in my twenties. I’m holding down two jobs. I work in roofing during the week – I’m a roofer by trade – and I work at Holt Renfrew on the weekends.
My addiction takes many different forms. I have to watch out for getting addicted to money and to shiny new things. But now I don’t think about using, I don’t think about not using – I don’t think about it at all.
I had a lot of help getting here, and the 12 Steps are a real thing. I’d never done them before. I’d gone to meetings, I listened to people talking, and I thought it was nonsense. But I was desperate enough to try it this time.
The people here at Good Shepherd treated me like family. I get so much from the groups. I’m comfortable – although I don’t want to stay here forever. I feel accepted and loved. Never once did anyone make me feel like a drug addict when I was here.
That what makes this place for me – it’s the people here – they love you back to health. I never really had a sense of family, but I have it here.
I came here on June 10, 2021. I was here for five months before I went to treatment. Then I came back for the post-treatment. Now I’m on the verge of signing papers to have my own place.
This place and the people who serve here saved my life. Thank you!