When I first came into recovery, I hated myself and hated my life.

Since I found my sobriety, I’ve learned to love myself and love my life. No drug can take that away from me.

My first time using drugs, I was nine years old. My mom introduced me to drugs. When I was 14, it became a problem even though I was only using pot. I dropped out of high school. I started drinking a lot.

By the time I turned 18, I was fully addicted to crystal meth. By the time I was 21, my Nana’s death led to me using fentanyl and needles and my life went really downhill. I wanted to die to be with my Nana.

It wasn’t until December 2, 2020, that I decided to make a change in my life.

I looked at all the time and energy that I put into getting drugs – I stole scrap metal, I dug through dumpsters.

I thought, “If I took all this time and energy, I could do something with my life.” I was on the streets in Brantford. I called Hamilton detox and I went there.

When I was in detox, there was a wall with brochures, and there was one crumpled up brochure. I was curious. I opened it up. It was for the DARE Program.

I called DARE. Literally a day before I was going to get discharged from detox, DARE called and said they had a bed. Without DARE, I would have gone back to a shelter or the streets in Brantford to wait for treatment and I would have relapsed.

So when I first got here I was surprised because I was used to homeless shelters where I was in a dorm with 24 beds. I was glad to see I didn’t have to share my space. The staff and other guys in DARE were welcoming, the food was excellent, and I thought “This is where I need to be!”

I realized that if I wanted to love myself and my life, I needed to be sober. I learned that I like to volunteer and help other people. Helping around Good Shepherd Centre made me feel like I was making a contribution to people who were homeless like me.

I learned how to stay sober and have structure in my life. I never had that before. I watched my parents use drugs and alcohol to cope with their emotions and I thought that was how everyone coped with their emotions. Being here taught me how to start living a normal life.

I was supposed to go to treatment in Simcoe. When they called and said they had a bed, they said that due to COVID, I would be staying in a hotel and travelling to treatment each day. There would be no support staff in the hotel, but there was a bar.

I told one of the DARE workers and he said “No!” He suggested another treatment centre, the place he graduated from. I waited another three and a half months. When I got there, it really helped.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel emotions – the only bad thing is when you let emotions get the best of you. I don’t have to avoid emotions, I just have to feel them and ride them out. At the end of the day, even the most painful emotion will pass.

When I was using drugs, the emotions went away while I was using, but they’d come back worse than ever afterwards. Using drugs just prolongs difficult emotions.

I came back to DARE after treatment. I’m going to transitional housing that supports recovery – I am lucky, I only had to wait a week.

I’ve been studying with a tutor. My goal is to become an addictions counsellor. It makes me happy to see people in recovery, making progress and transforming their lives.

I truly believe the Good Shepherd is a miracle for people who struggle with any sort of homelessness, mental health, poverty – anyone who struggles and needs a helping hand. Good Shepherd helps thousands of people and it’s just beautiful – a beautiful thing to see. I’m very grateful to have seen it and experienced it.