Click here to read this story and additional articles in the Fall 2024 Good Shepherd Journal

My name is Justin Hillyer. I am 31 years old. I have been addicted to methamphetamine and other substances for about 10 years. This is my story.

I was born in Guelph, Ontario but was raised in Toronto and a few other places. I was made a crown ward at the age of 3 and I was bounced around the system until I was 18. I can’t remember the number of group homes and foster homes I was in. Way too many to count. I was dealt a crappy hand, but I was determined to make the best of it.

I advocated for my brother and sister whenever I thought they were being dealt with unfairly. I think the first time this happened was when I was 10. I felt I had to take care of my brother and sister because my mom couldn’t. I was determined to do this, so I did well in school. Flew through high school and graduated and was on my way to college.

The summer I graduated was when I had my first beer. I loved the way it made me feel. I especially loved the way it made me feel around others. A few months later I tried smoking pot. I started college that September and lived on campus in a dry building which meant no alcohol but that didn’t stop me. I would throw parties every weekend. I was living the dream…so I thought. I would wake up and start drinking. Before classes I would fill up a McDonald’s cup with booze and go to my classes. This went on for a couple of months and eventually I stopped going to class. I ended up getting kicked off campus for throwing parties and had to drop out of my classes. My second year of college I lived off campus, but the partying just got worse. I told myself that it was normal. That I was living college life, and it was no big deal. I just did two years of college.

Then I moved to Wasaga Beach to live with my mom. I started working at and worked my way up to Manager [at a restaurant]. I was still partying but not as much. Since I never actually knew my mom because I lived in foster care my whole life, I would come to find out she was a heavy drug user. My mother was more of a friend than a mother and we partied together. I started doing MDMA [methamphetamine] with her and that led to crack/cocaine.

A few months later my stepdad who was my whole world passed away from an overdose. That’s when I went super downhill. I quit my job and started using full time. I got into trouble and got arrested.  Because I was using, I didn’t go to court and I got paranoid so I bought a one way ticket to Vancouver.

When I moved to Vancouver that was my first time homeless. I was homeless on East Hastings, one of the worst places in Canada. I was homeless for 9 months then I started a junk removal company with a friend. Life was good again. After 2 years, I lost everything. I turned back to drugs and moved back to Ontario with my real dad in Guelph.

In 2021 my father passed away due to drinking. I found him in the bathroom. I spun out of control. I overdosed a few times. I was dead for 8 minutes once but I came back. But that didn’t stop me using. I ended up in jail. When I got out, I started using again. Right away I went into a psychosis. It was the scariest thing I have ever been through. I thought the whole world was plotting against me. All my friends, my family, everyone. I couldn’t take it so I came to Toronto.

My psychosis got worse. I didn’t know anybody and had no resources. I lasted 12 hours on the street before I went to the emergency room and from there to CAMH [Centre for Addiction and Mental Health]. I spent 3 weeks there. I was scared and I had no idea what I was going to do when I left. I had nowhere to go and didn’t want to use again. That’s when I was told about the DARE [Drug and Alcohol Recovery Enrichment] program at Good Shepherd.

I was excited but also nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. When I arrived [at Good Shepherd] I was so grateful I still had my freedom. If I was struggling, there was always somebody to talk to and help me through the rough times. I went to treatment, and I am now 9 months clean. I have reconnected with my younger sister and my niece and nephew. I walked my sister down the aisle at her wedding and am now a big part of my niece and nephew’s lives, which makes the urge to stay sober that much stronger. I am now looking for work and housing for September. I owe my life to the Good Shepherd for giving me the opportunity to better myself and to get my life back on track.

Please make a donation so that Good Shepherd can continue to provide support to people in need such as Justin.